So when I started this blog, I knew one of the things I really wanted to share was my own experience with motherhood. Spoiler alert! Motherhood is HARD!
Brynn, our oldest (at 3.5 years old) has definitely been challenging in her own way, but Asher, our little man (at 1.5 years old), now he has been one that has been a true test in every sense of the word. A true test of our patience, of our ability to function on almost no sleep, and even (truthfully) a test of our marriage at times.
However, now I can talk about this because we constantly (have to) recite to ourselves, “This too, shall pass.” We know that we’ll make it through. We see the light at the end of the tunnel most of the time. And just when we are feeling discouraged, he goes and does something amazing (just like all kids seem to do!) that make us realize, we truly are blessed. I’ll start this by saying, I know that there could be a million worse things that could happen. I do. I really get that. But everyone has “stuff”, right? Something they’re dealing with. I try to remember that myself when dealing with others, because sometimes people are just jerks, but sometimes they just have a lot of their own “stuff” to deal with.
OK, enough with the rambling Erin! (Really, I mean, are there awards for the longest blog posts, because I’ll probably win! haha!).
Getting to the point… I thought I’d share some of what we’ve gone through with Asher – in hopes that this can be a creative way I can get some of my feelings “out there” but also, to connect with anyone else – moms, dads, uncles, aunts, grandmas, grandpas, friends, sisters, brothers (you get the idea) who might be going through similar things.
So a bit of back story – Asher was a SUPER colicky, basically unhappy baby for the first 12 weeks of his life. At 12 weeks (a 12 weeks I can just barely remember because I’m pretty sure my brain has tried to block out the horrible screaming of a colicky baby), just as I was going back to work, he decided to take pity on us, and start sleeping through the night! Whoop whoop!
Well that ended at about 6 months, just as we were moving into our new house. GREAT timing, Ash! 😉 I’m going to save some of this for a post on another day, because ultimately we learned A LOT of the sleep issues really dealt with him just being so gosh darn hungry (he was breastfed and I didn’t realize that my supply was really plummeting; somehow I managed to hang on until 13 months, but I don’t think I will really understand how that happened!).
Anyway, so fast forward to when Asher was about 9-10 months. He wasn’t walking, crawling, pulling to stand, army crawling – anything. He was barely rolling. In fact, he didn’t even put weight on his legs when we held him up to “stand.”
I was really nervous, so I spoke to his doctor. He wasn’t concerned, for whatever reason. But I still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was really wrong. So at my sister’s urging (she’s a speech pathologist herself in addition to being completely awesome and amazing), I reached out to my county’s health department to schedule an Early Intervention evaluation.
After an initial phone call and meeting, Asher was evaluated by two professionals (he had a Physical Therapist (PT), and Occupation Therapist (OT) because of my concerns). They assessed from a gross motor (PT) standpoint, he had more than a 33% delay, which qualified him for services. [Side note: I’ll never complain about the high New York State taxes again, because the services here are all completely free and awesome. OK, OK…I’ll probably still complain, because high taxes still kinda stink!]
When Asher was first assessed, I would cry after the kids were in bed. I worried all the time. I couldn’t concentrate at work. I know Jeff was worrying too. I have never, in my entire life, felt so helpless. I don’t think anyone can prepare you for that feeling before you’re a parent. Oh, that and – Mom Guilt. #thestrugglereallyISreal
In all seriousness, in addition to the worry, and the helplessness, I felt really alone (I mean, alone with Jeff, of course). I just didn’t know who to talk to. Most people would give me a generic “Well I’m sure things will be fine.” Or the, “He’s a boy – boys are always behind!” Yeah. That didn’t help. (I know people mean well, but I’m just trying to be honest with all the feelings here).
The good news is though, this piece of the story definitely has a happy ending. We got matched with the BEST PT ever. “Mr. Brian” (as the daycare kids call him, since he visits Ash at daycare), is amazing. Asher doesn’t exactly like people. Not just strangers. Unfortunately he used to be terrified of pretty much everyone except Jeff, me, and his daycare provider. But in the miracle of all miracles – Asher liked Brian immediately! He made amazing progress too! He was full on crawling by 1, and walking by 14 months! It was a huge relief to see him making progress, and more importantly, happy!
However, in the next part, I’ll be talking about the new service Asher is receiving – OT. (He ended up having another evaluation several months ago and qualified for OT, in addition to his PT).
That was a lot of words, so thank you to anyone who made it this far. It felt good to “talk” about this and send this out to the universe. 🙂
What about any of you? Have your kids gone through similar things? Have you felt like I have? How do you deal with it? I’ve also really struggled with explaining some of this to Brynn (especially the OT/sensory related things since Asher hates to hugged and touched).
Any advice or comments would be GREATLY appreciated!
Until next time, everyone!